Chicken Pig Attack – The Return of Takeo


Chicken Pig Attack you know why you are here! do you understand the consequences? [muffled protesting, screech of fearsome swine] who are you? I have a delivery delivery of what?? justice [laughter] [chicken cluck] sorry, old man but I’m afraid now you’ve seen too much ha! it is you who will soon wish to unsee this moment [ancient yodel of of reckoning now begins the fight of a lifetime we can end it all and end it right two warriors challenge you they came ready to fight oh, chicken and a pig bacon and eggs they’re not here to play chicken and a pig, bacon and eggs you’re on their plate today six legs! two wings! and one ass-whooping COCK ON A SWINE (cock on a swine) FRIENDS FOR ALL TIME (for all time) SWINE WITH A COCK (swine with a cock) THEY CAN NEVER BE STOPPED there is no escape from justice nowhere to hide from your fate you may want forgiveness I’d say yes but for them it’s too late oh, chicken and a pig bacon and eggs they’re not here to play chicken and a pig, bacon and eggs you’re on their plate today six legs! two wings! and one ass-whooping! COCK ON A SWIIIIIIIIIINE (cock on a swine) FRIENDS FOR ALL TIIIIIIIIME (for all time) SWINE WITH A CAHHHHHHHCK (swine with a cock) THEY CAN NEVER BE STAHHHHHPPED they look so cute and cuddly you might expect a kiss but if you’re on their bad side you’ll only get their iron fists [distant drums of reckoning] your path has led you down the road of evil but I would like to offer you another way evil is… relative. you… more than anyone, should know… in order to make an omelette it is required that you break eggs. if you join me I can make you a wealthy man. you can own all the chickens and pigs you desire. I don’t own them! These are my friends! [handshake routine of friendship] CAHHHHCK ON A SWIIIIIIINE (cock on a swine) FRIENDS FOR ALL TIIIIIIIIME (for all time) SWINE WITH A CAHHHHHHCK (swine with a cock) THEY CAN NEVER BE STAHHHHHHPPED Takeo-san! Takeo-san! [sprinting, heavy breathing, sound of beasts and insects at dusk] ever since you disappeared after saving my brother–– [powerful yodel reverberating across the land] in English. whoa…ever since you saved my brother, I’ve been lookin all over the world for you. I would love to learn your ways. you think I can teach you anything? I was just defeated by my own indulgent secret handshake. However, I’m looking for an intern. You can order pizza for me and answer my emails. You must be tired from your travels. You sure you don’t wanna see my résumé? Let’s see it. [ripping of paper] I hope you don’t mind the risk of danger! No, not at all––I have low self-esteem, so I actually wouldn’t mind being harmed Good. Your first lesson will be about th etime I underestimated the local mafia… Chicken Pig Attack next week! will Takeo meet his doom? or will a small furry warrior come to the rescue? find out here on Schmoyoho accent on the Yodel-ay-hee-hoo that’s Schmoyodel-ay-hee-hoo-ho now have a great day and a great life! and don’t forget to hug a chicken today! CAHHHHHHHHCK ON A SWIIIII

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